Chapter 8: The Toymaker

There is more to this toy-shop than meets the eye...

Phineas Cormander is the white-haired toymaker who lives a quiet and somewhat reclusive life down an otherwise questionable backstreet of magical shops in the heart of Mordale. So why does the Dragonsbard believe he is the only one who can help save the world from magical calamity?

 Download the latest chapters here right now!

Subscribe today and you can download the Prologue and Chapter One immediately absolutely FREE. Additional chapters will then be billed to you at the rate of only $1.50 per chapter every two weeks and you may cancel at any time!

2 Replies to “Chapter 8: The Toymaker”

  1. Mr. Hickman,
    Another excellent chapter. Can’t wait to find out more about the toymaker.
    I did notice a few things for you.

    Chapter 8

    Pg 03 – Line 05 – “down on the road narrow cobblestone road” sounds like this was an edit that didn’t get completely changed.

    Pg 04 – Line 09 – this line begings a very long sentence that continues for the next 5 lines without a break of any sort.

    Pg 06 – Line 06 – should “if” be “it”?

    Pg 09 – Line 08 – Imp has been capitalized before.

    Pg 09 – Line 19 – It was “Reinhard” earlier. Now it is “Reynard”

    Pg 09 – Line 20 – “of” should probably “a”

    Pg 10 – Line 10 – “The man was tall, slightly over six feet tall” can one “tall” be eliminated?

    Pg 10 – Line 12 – “hound dog look at his brown eyes were bright with a touch of” should “at” be “but”?

    Pg 10 – Line 13 – should there be a comma after “shoulders”?

    Pg 11 – Line 03 – The Bard’s “what” swung slightly?

    Pg 11 – Line 14 – “ropes suddenly released from the few the Bard” this sentence makes no sense at the end.

    Pg 13 – Line 03 – “was the high mage the Academy.” there seems to be something missing there.

    Pg 13 – Line 07 – “have ever been at the Academy exhibition point” makes no sense at all.

    Pg 13 – Line 17 – “imp” capitalized or not?

    Pg 13 – Line 20 – “imp”

    Pg 13 – Line 22 – “imp”

Comments are closed.